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Communication is vital , and I love variety. Before becoming an escort, I worked in a dungeon. It was there that I discovered the art of submission.

I genuinely enjoy being a professional submissive. I am also open to attending BDSM and swing parties with established friends.

I always find it an honor to be the one that introduces a person in this world of perversion and depravity. Whether you are new or a connoisseur of the erotic I would be delighted to engage in a date full of debauchery and naughty fun!

I reserve the right to terminate the session or not participate in an activity if your hygiene is not up to par. Below are a list of activities I enjoy.

This is NOT an offer of solicitation nor is it a guarantee of services. Your investment is strictly for my time as a BDSM model.

Carnal Catalina Light-Mild For new friends this type of session requires a 2 hour minimum; for returning friends a 1. Available to established friends only.

Power play can bring up emotional issues as well. Power play requires an unbelievable amount of trust, and that level of trust takes time to build.

I recommend reading How To Be A Healthy And Happy Submissive by Kate Kinsey, which will help you anticipate some of the dynamics that might come up for you, and learn some strategies about how to deal with them.

At the very least, read through this article and talk through each of the suggestions together. Identify some baby steps to take, and make sure you are explicitly clear about your boundaries beforehand.

Any time one of you utters the safeword, that means that you need to immediately stop whatever you were doing and check in with each other.

It can take time to develop your submissive identity, so playing a role can make it easier to come up with things to say and actions to take.

Try out king or queen and servant, sergeant and private, or student and teacher. Bondage is a literal way to play around with control.

For beginners, the Sportsheets Under The Bed Restraint System is easy to use and has velcro straps that can be undone quickly.

One of the easiest ways to play up the power dynamic is by using your language. You can emphasize your servitude to your partner by asking for their permission in the bedroom.

Plead with your partner to touch or kiss you. Punishment can create some extreme power dynamics, so make sure you talk about it beforehand and agree on proper punishments.

Make sure you start with less intense punishments. There are lots of ideas for what to role play and this isn't an exhaustive list, but here are some examples.

People role-play for many reasons, but mostly because it is fun! Role-playing can be a form of escape.

You can shed the responsibility you may have in the real world for awhile and enjoy just being. We all lead busy stressful lives.

Role-playing helps us de-stress and as I've said can take away the responsibilities of the day. We can escape through role-play and scenes.

Develop a Script- Not a word by word script, but a basic outline and some key phrases written down will help you in the heat of play.

Staging- Set up the area you want to play in. Try to make the room look like the right set up. Clear all the clutter or cover it with sheets.

Turn off all technology and other distractions. Props for the session can also be set up; desks for school scenes, table with a light shining directly on it for interrogation scenes.

Dressing Up- It can heighten the pleasure of the session if you try to dress up. Shop the thrift stores for clothing you can wear or rip and Halloween is the best time to get props from the costume boutiques.

And there is always the internet. You might have a specific routine that requires you to kneel or to drop your eyes when in front of him.

Many of these things can be adapted to playtime in the bedroom and vice versa. Here are a few:. Of course, there are many other scenarios that you could play with your partner, and you could simply be the more dominant and submissive versions of yourselves, respectively.

However, roles add in an idea of how a scene should play out and the type of words and behaviors that each person will display. These roles are often played with bondage.

You might think bondage is extreme, but it can be as simple as holding your wrists during sex or using a single pair of cuffs.

It may be scheduled and activities planned beforehand, or it may be more loosely planned and spontaneous, taking shaping as you go.

A safe word is a word or phrase you can say when things are too intense for you to handle. Wikipedia has some great info on safe words here.

Even if you enjoy being a submissive, you may still run into intense feelings or find that your scenes trigger past traumas.

Both of those things are normal, and if your relationship is healthy, you should be able to work through them to truly enjoy how erotic and freeing BDSM can be.

Beware of any partner who thinks the only way to be submissive is to give complete control. Reaching out to members of your community should be encouraged as should remaining connected with your own support network.

Your man could submit to you, the powerful woman, or you can take turns with dominance and submission. A person who enjoys both roles is known as a switch [ 1 , 2 ], and a switch gets to experience both sides of the coin.

Taking on the dominant role has the obvious benefit of you getting to use your man for your pleasure and benefit. With honest and open communication, you can safely explore those sides of you to find things that turn you on or even bring you closer to your man.

One of the benefits of BDSM is that it encourages honest — and frequent — communication about sex.

Now that you know some of the basics of BDSM and submission, you might be eager to start. A few studies of BDSM have been enlightening. Another study found that submissives experienced an increase in testosterone and cortisol during a scene.

Others studies found similar increases in cortisol [ 6 ]. But cortisol can also decrease due to BDSM activities [ 7 ].

You can use it similar to a BDSM manual because he teaches basic skills and talks about safety in it. Jay Wiseman also created a BDSM checklist that can stand in for a contract and describe desires, limits, and pertinent medical information.

Kate Kinsey wrote a message to submissives about the dominants they choose to play with. Finally, check out this article in the Ask Carole feature of The Guardian where Carole responds to a reader whose girlfriend can only seem to orgasm why tied up.

It discusses how orgasm works and why BDSM provides the intensity some people require. This question can be viewed in two ways.

The first is a question about why people would be interested in BDSM in general. Mental Instability? Another study found BDSM practitioners to be no more likely to have clinical disorders than vanilla people [ 11 ].

Another study on a Dutch population found that kinksters might even be more agreeable and less neurotic than the general population [ 12 ].

BDSM enables you to try on a role. The question surrounding submission specifically is usually framed regarding self-worth. BDSM can be a healthy reflection, and you can choose how it looks.

In fact, the opposite may very well be true, and your relationship should be equal outside of the scene [ 15 ]. Submissive Psychology — A Canadian study of sadomasochism found that masochists were no more mentally unstable or prone to psychological distress than other groups of people [ 16 ].

And someone who is a masochist is more likely to be drawn to submission and submitting during sex than dominance. You can be a submissive who also identifies as a feminist.

You can be a strong woman and enjoy submitting. In fact, the reason why some people enjoy submitting is that they have so much responsibility outside of the bedroom.

In fact, one research team described a study on participants like this [ 17 ]:. From the analysis of the interviews we found that BDSM participants defined their sexuality as mainly usual and normal.

A study from found that A more recent study revealed that However, the numbers were lesser for tying up A few studies have looked at BDSM identities.

For instance, one study found that While men more commonly identified with dominant roles, Plus, these numbers may have risen thanks to the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey.

Some people simply have no interest in BDSM. Or you might even have an interest in playing the dominant role yourself. Like any sexual activity, you might find that your sex life improves with exploration.

On the other hand, we never suggest that you have to try an activity that you absolutely have no interest in, and a partner who pushes, coerces, or even forces you to is not a safe partner.

Discover how to be dominant in the bedroom. Obviously, trust is a key component of BDSM play, but submission has to be given and cannot be taken. If your partner tries to force you to submit like Christan Grey did with Ana , they are being abusive and abusing your trust.

On the flip side of the coin, you have a willing submissive but a partner who is unwilling to take on the dominant mantle. The same advice applies.

You may even consider ending the relationship if BDSM is important to you. Alternatively, you may come to an agreement where you can explore BDSM with other partners.

But if your partner is more reluctant than opposed, this may be a role he can grow into. It might help for him to read stories from happy submissives or even to talk to some people within the scene.

Furthermore, dominating a person can even strengthen your relationship. In fact, aftercare is an important part of BDSM and it allows you to reconnect with your dominant after a scene and deal with the physiological effects of a scene.

But even a scene itself can be healing or promote growth. Researchers find that BDSM can aid personal expression, enhance growth, or even be therapeutic for participants [ 23 ].

One study found that participants experienced BDSM as a process of connection — as well as creation and expansion [ 24 ].

Others report that their romantic relationships benefit [ 26 ]. Some people find a sense of freedom through BDSM [ 27 ].

There are so many ideas that may come to mind when you think of submitting. It might be leather and latex bondage clothing or activities such as crawling on the floor.

You can also specify how your BDSM relationship will look with a contract:. Some people enjoy exploring soft limits, which may not be limits after all.

In fact, your discomfort at playing out the cliche might show and make it hard for either of you to enjoy your scene. There is risk inherent to any BDSM activity; although, some activities pose less risk than others.

There are a few ways to limit risk. I want to teach you some oral sex techniques I call "sexual heroin" because they will make any man completely and utterly addicted to you, doing anything just to be with you.

These secret oral sex techniques, that you can use on any man, will give him back-arching, body-shaking, screaming orgasms so powerful that he may pass out afterwards.

Discover them here. If you are in a relationship where the "spark" is no longer there and would like to experience more passion, fire, and intensity then you may want to check them out.

Some side effects include: Having a man who constantly looks at you like he wants to rip your clothes off.

Other women becoming jealous of your relationship and how your man treats you. A guy who makes excuses to his buddies and cancels on them so he can spend more time with you.

A man who can't keep his hands off you. Click here to learn learn these techniques now. You're also going to hear a story of how one woman used them to overcome a potential divorce and make her marriage stronger and more passionate than she ever thought possible.

Listen to her story here. Girlfriend of 15 years was interested in the rough sex being controlled and liked the idea of being submissive we wanted to spice up our relationship without someone feeling unsafe.

I am new to having so much adventure in my life. I absolutely enjoy sex and exploring the possibilities. The man or female should pass along certain actions based on preference.

I need to hear you breathing heavy in my ear and when your lips connect for a kiss i do expect a hard kiss against my lips.

I love being tied up and at the mercy of my companion! My Dom is experienced. How do i bring it up in a way that doesnt freak him out?

Im so down for all of this and enjoy it so much… I feel as if this is something i need more than i want.. I dont want to live a vanilla life. I need excitement when it comes to sex..

There are also different levels to it. My Dom and I have argued for 4 years over swinging. Now he wants to divorce me.

For men, everything in life is about the ego.

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